Why might a person be attracted to someone whose temperament, personality, or background is different from his or her own? What might some of the benefits of such a relationship be? What might the drawbacks be? Discuss a specific example of a relationship of opposites.
Respond to this post and comment on at least 2 of your classmates' responses prior to class on Monday, February 9.
One may be attracted to someone who is different than themselves because perhaps it's a breath of fresh air to have someone around with different views or personality traits, it can make up for what another one lacks (ex: quiet person with outgoing person). By being in a relationship with someone who has opposite traits than you, it can be beneficial because of how much you could learn from the other person, and try new things. However, being opposite can cause rifts between two people, especially on religious, political, and moral views.
ReplyDeleteI know of one relationship between two people, one is extremely responsible, while the other is very reckless. This can cause problems, but they balance each other out most of the time.
Izzy: I agree with you completely when you mentioned trying new things and learning so much from the other person. They can really get you to step out of your comfort zone.
DeleteI think it is like a breath of fresh air to have someone with different traits around you. You are able to also step out of your comfort zone. I agree that different views and traits can be very difficult at times.
DeleteI agree that you can learn new things from the other person. Also that if one is reckless an done responsible, they do balance each other out because the responsible one does not one to see their significant other get into trouble.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteMaddieFebruary 6, 2015 at 8:32 AM
I believe a person could be attracted to someone whose temperament, personality or background is different from his or her own because they are not used to being around that type of aura. You might be used to the way you are and never truly get to experience the opposite unless you are with that person. A benefit to a relationship like that is the two people balance each other out. If there is too much of something in a relationship, it might not work out. A drawback might be that you could get on one another's nerves more often because you are indeed opposite. An example of a relationship of opposites would probably be my parents. With physical opposites, my dad is tall and my mom is somewhat short. My dad is more quiet and doesn't talk much in front of strangers, but my mom wouldn't be afraid to start a conversation if she needed to. There can be a lot more opposites, and that's what brought them together.
I agree with how you said " a benefit to a relationship like that is the two people balance each other out", to be in a relationship with someone who is somewhat opposite than you can help you grow as a person sometimes and broaden your horizons, in a way.
DeleteOpposites like you said with your parents are good. If you are a quiet person it's good to have someone outgoing with you so you can start conversations. I agree that opposites can get on the others nerves. That is a drawback.
DeleteI agree with your drawback that you could get on one another's nerves more often. But I also think it's good if you aren't always agreeing and also positive towards each other.
DeleteI like how you used your parents as an example. I think that's a common, and perfect, example of opposites attracting. Relationships can't work if both people are quiet or both people are loud, it leads to a lot of communication problems. Having one of each in a relationship is a perfect balance.
DeleteI liked what you said about the different aura and if someone is use to themselves they never get to experience the opposite. I also liked how you used your parents as an example. they really sound like opposites but work great together.
DeleteSome people may be attracted to different personalities, races, back rounds, or temperaments from their own for many reasons. The reason I think of is because they have something that you, yourself, do not have. Benefits to opposites, such as personalities, is you are able to see things from other points of view. Also if you have a nice and mean personality together they can help the other person be a better person. Drawbacks to opposites are very different opinions on subjects or different ways in which you act. The differences may sometimes cause a problem, because you can not see where the matter is coming from. Also, you do not know why the person is acting a certain way because you never experienced anything close to what they had experienced.
ReplyDeleteAbbey: I agree with what you said about seeing things from a different point of view. That was a good thing to point out that I didn't think of.
DeleteI also think that a drawback to opposites is that one person might not understand where the other is coming from and why they think that. They could have a reason that you would never have thought about. Even though this is a drawback, I think it could lead to more easily seeing another point of view, like you said.
DeleteI agree that the differences in personality and opinion can lead to disagreements and problems. I also feel that the people will be able to tell their different experiences as interesting stories to the other person since they may not experience the same thing.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSomeone might be attracted to someone else whose temperament, personality, or background is different from his or her own because it allows another perspective in the relationship. If two people are opposites, they most likely complement each other. For example a person that is very spontaneous might be good for a person who likes to plan. The same goes for a person who gets angered quickly. They might be compatible with a calmer person who can help them release their anger in a postive way. That way, there is a mix between the two extremes. If someone comes from the city and is in a relationship with someone from a small town, they can experience both styles of living. Though there are benefits, there are always at least some drawbacks. The two people could be so different and stuck in their ways that they refuse to compromise and can never accomplish anything. There is also the possibility of a lot of fighting. If one person wants to go somewhere the other person is not comfortable with, that might end up in a disagreement. So in conclusion it is very possible to be attracted to someone who is different from someone else, but in my opinion, for it work out in the long run, both parties need to be able to compromise.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you Emma that people that are different complement each other. That can bring out the best in each person. Also how you said that sometime people are so different they can't compromise. You made some really good points.
DeleteI agree with you that in order for people who are opposite to stay together they need to compromise with each other.
DeleteI completely agree with what you're saying about having a good mix with emotions and compromising. I've seen a lot of relationships fail because both people were too stubborn and set in their ways. I think it's important for people to see each other's point of view, but when they're so opposite like that, it might just not work out.
DeleteI agree with you that people who are different complement each other, it can even be a relief to be with someone who is maybe more outgoing if you are shy because they can be by your side and help you be more outgoing in certain situations. Opposites can really help you get out of your comfort zone.
DeleteI agree with you completely, as I'm a huge believer of the whole yin-yang thing.
DeleteOpposites attract in science and with people. I think this is because someone that is different from you makes you more curious about them. It makes you want to learn about what their life is like. Also from being with someone that is different you can learn and experience new things with each other instead of both people doing the same thing. That is good because they can learn from each other and help one another grow.
ReplyDeleteThis could have drawbacks with the people might argue more over things that one another might believe in or think is write. That they find out that even though they may love each other they can't get married because they can't work well together. In books you read about relationships that have to people that are opposites and they are attracted to each other. This is very common it's something about humans and being curious that make people attracted that aren't the same in personality, temperament, and background. All these reasons, good and bad, are why I think opposites attract.
I like how you drew the connection between science and people, it can be very true! And it's interesting that you wrote that curiosity can be involved in an opposite people relationship, I did not think of it like that.
DeleteI like the point you made when you mentioned that sometimes people are too opposite and cannot get past that and have to leave each other because of it. If two people can understand where the other is coming from and work well together, I think that that results in a positive relationship where there is communication and understanding.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI feel that a person might be attracted to their opposite because they're attracted to the life that they never had. If a person grows up really wealthy, with all the advantages in life, they might end up with a person that was less fortunate, because everyone tends to want what they don't have. A benefit of this could be the two opposites sharing values with each other, and possibly making each other better people for it, because they may realize what's really important in life. Drawbacks could be disagreeing on that exact thing; a difference in values. Using the wealthy/poor example from before, a difference in values could mean the wealthier person in the relationship thinking that money is most important in life and that it's always better to be well off, while the other person in the relationship may think that priceless things, such as people, are much more important.
ReplyDeleteI like your point about sharing values with each other. I think opposites can really learn a lot from each other and both benefit from it.
DeleteI like your point that a person might be attracted to the opposite because it's the life they never had. I think that makes a lot of sense because people often crave what they don't have. (example, a lot of people who live in small towns want to move to big citites)
DeleteI think that a person might be attracted to someone whose personality, temperament, or background is different than theirs because that could be more interesting that someone who is the exact same as them. A benefit of a relationship like this could be that each of the people are always on their toes and curious about the other person because they aren't exactly like them. Another benefit might be that the two balance each other out. However a drawback could be that they argue a lot because of differing opinions or they have nothing in common and nothing to talk about. My friend is dating someone who is quite different than her. She is outgoing, opinionate, and loud while he is more quiet and polite. And even thought they are opposites they get along really well.
ReplyDeleteI think someone might be attracted to someone who is different because it gives them a perspective from a different lifestyle. I also think it keeps thing interesting. Being in a relationship with someone who is different could be a good thing because it can help with conversation if you both don’t agree with the same things. I think it could be a bad thing if you are always disagreeing because that might lead to too many arguments. I also think if two people were so similar that they always agreed, there would never be anything to talk about and you might get bored of each other quicker than people who disagree and have things to argue about. I think almost every relationship involves two people which are different. I don't think there is any two people that can agree on every single thing they do. I feel like this doesn't just have to be a romantic relationship because my sister and I are very different but we seem to get along very well.
ReplyDeleteI think your right that it does keep things interesting. If you are too similar it could get boring and also like you said you would always basically be talking about the same things. That is a good point to that every relationship has two different people, it just depends on how different they are.
DeleteI agree with what you said about the different perspectives and seeing that perspective from a different lifestyle. I also liked what you said about how if two people were too similar there would be nothing to talk about and it would get boring.
DeleteI think opposites attract because, in a way, the two people balance each other out. People aren't always attracted to other people who are similar them because they already know what they're like. They know how the other person is going to act and what they are going to say There's no other word for it than boring. Also, being around two people who are exactly alike each other can be overwhelming.
ReplyDeleteOpposites attract because you want to know about the other person. They're different than you, and you want to figure them out. They can always do something surprising and unexpected. To me, that's a much more interesting and enjoyable relationship. Of course, opposites together can definitely lead to problems. There may be more fighting, but I think it would be worth it.
I definitely agree with you that two people who are opposites balance each other out. I also agree that it can lead to problems when two people are very different.
DeleteEllie: I defiantly agree with you. Being in a relationship can cause more fighting but, most of the time it's worth it. I also agree with Kylie that if the two people are very different, it may cause to many problems.
DeleteI agree with this a lot. I feel that we like mysteries and don't want the same old same old. We want too be around different people and o really like what you wrote
DeleteI agree that two people can balance each other out, but if there too different they might not cause that balance and it could lead up to fighting like you said.
DeleteI believe opposites attract because this person is different from you so it makes life different. If you are with someone who is exactly like you it gets boring. Benefits from this type of relationship are that it's not the same thing everyday. When you are with your opposite, you are always finding out new things about them. You see life like they do sometimes and so you see things differently. A drawback to having a relationship with your opposite is that your personalities can clash sometimes. You guys might not always agree on things which cause a lot of fights. People who are the same fight, but they are more likely to agree on things.
ReplyDeleteI know that my sister and her boyfriend are opposites. He loves to just always have fun and he never really takes life seriously. He is afraid of commitment. My older sister is the exact opposite. Yes, she knows how to have fun but she always knows when things need to be taken seriously. My sister loves the idea of commitment. My sister is also very persistent, but her boyfriend isn't. I've seen them bring out the worst and best in each other. My sister helps him stay grounded when it's needed, and he helps my sister know when it's okay to have fun a lot.
I agree with you that having someone that is opposite of you changes your life greatly. Finding out new things about them is what a relationship is all about. I also agree that their personalities will often clash which will definitely test a relationship.
DeletePeople are sometimes attracted to someone whose temperament, personality, or background is different from their own because it's easier to get along. If two significant others would have a lot of the same interests it could get bad. For example if you both love and play soccer it could become a competition to see who is the best. If one is better than the other, he or she would get jealous and it would cause problems. Or if they both like the same artist they could say "I liked him/her first" or getting to see that person in concert before the other. To me from experience, opposites attract because if you liked the same things you would both most likely do them all the time together. Too much of a person, even a significant other is not a good thing. You need time for yourself to do the things you like/love. It's not that people don't love the person it's just it gets annoying having both of the people liking the same things. You could get annoyed of each other very quickly. Obviously some benefits are that the two people like the same things so they never argue over what to do, and for a while it might not be a problem but eventually I can guarantee it will. If you have your own space and own likings, it's much easier to talk about them to your significant other. You would have a bunch of different stories to share from you and your significant other because they weren't there with you to see it.
ReplyDeleteI really liked when you said that if you are too similar everything might turn into a competition or get jealous. I think that is a very good point because I think those things would completely ruin the relationship.
DeleteI agree with this a lot, mostly because being around one person too long can be annoying. Especially if you guys have the same things in commons it can get boring after a while.
DeleteI think that opposite kinds of people attract because the two people have their different personalities that fill in for what the other persons' personality may not include. This usually makes the two peoples' attitudes compliment each other and cover areas that may be weaknesses or faults. The difference in personality allows the two people to always have things to talk about from different perspectives.
ReplyDeleteOne of the benefits of opposite types of people being in a relationship is that they will have much different experiences in life and these stories will always seem more interesting to someone who is of a different nature. One of the downsides to having different personalities is that the two people might not always see eye to eye. This can cause problems through what each person wants for themselves. This makes the experience of being in a relationship with someone of a different personality very interesting but somewhat risky as you have to be careful about what your ideas are sometimes.
I totally agree with the two persons personalities filling in for each other. I had no clue you spelled your name with 2 N's.
DeleteI think opposites attract to one another because its something new, its different too them. Its almost like they each fill in missing pieces to one another. Such as one person is not artistic but their significant other is, it act as a balance between the both of them. I think balance is very important in relationships because you don't want to much or to little, you want it to be just right. A drawback in this could be if ones a slob and the others a clean freak, then you might get on each others nerves. But at the end of the day those little arguments become irrelevant because flaws and differences in all, you still love each other.
ReplyDeleteI love how you called the opposite things "missing pieces." I agree that in the end, if those missing pieces don't cause too many problems, they shouldn't matter. I also agree with what you said about balance, it's very important.
DeleteAs Kara said I also loved how you called the opposite things "missing pieces". You're right they balance each other out. Having a messy person, and a clean freak the clean freak could influence the messy one to be more neat.
DeleteAs Kara and Kaila said, I loved that you used the words missing piece. I know you read ahead so it's almost like when Cathy said the Nelly that whatever their souls were made of, her's and Heathcliff's were the same. I very much agree with everything you said
DeleteI think that a person might be attracted to someone whose temperament or personality is different from their own because they might find it interesting. When other people are different from yourself there is generally a curiosity with it. People might often wonder why they act a certain way. Especially if someone comes from a different background that they don't know much about, I think the curiosity and appeal of that person could be stronger because they want to learn about their background.
ReplyDeleteAnother reason opposites may attract is because why would you go for someone who is super similar to yourself? You already know everything and if you feel the same about different topics there is no chance for debating on different topics and how you feel about them. Nothing interesting would ever happen because you both agree with everything the other thinks.
I think there are a lot of benefits to a relationship where opposites attract. Things will rarely get dull, you'll always have something to talk about, you may get into lively discussions about politics or any topic you both feel strongly about, and you can try new things with someone who doesn't like the same things as you. A relationship like that provides a lot of opportunities to see things from a different perspective and to learn and try new things which I think is great.
A drawback that is probably inevitable with an opposites attract relationship is arguing. At some point you're bound to disagree and both people will probably be too stubborn to be the bigger person or accept that they see it one way and you see it another. One good example of a relationship of opposites could be someone who feels very strongly Democratic and the other Republican. A relationship between them can most definitely work out, but when it comes to politics they are polar opposites and will probably argue if they can't accept each other's choices. I think that arguing and not having enough in common or enough willingness to try other things are the only drawbacks of an opposites attract relationship.
I like your thought about curiosity. Maybe it's not always about balancing each other out, but just curiosity.
DeleteI agree with all of your benefits and drawbacks! I really like what you said about why would you go for someone similar to yourself, because that would be boring! I like how you said that things will rarely get dull, which is true because you have more to talk about. I think your example on the Democrats and Republicans was a good example for what you were proving.
DeleteIt may have something to do with the fact that a person has lived with his/her self for their entire life so you might get tired of a person that is exactly like you pretty quick. If you find someone that is "opposite" of you it would make the relationship more exciting because you always be learning new things about your "opposite". I know a couple that have been married for almost 60 years that are just like this. He likes cars and jets and explosions, pretty much what you would expect a guy to be interested in. But she likes books and tea and unicorns and just calm "girly" stuff. But they both support each other 100%. Obviously there's some validity to the statement "opposites attract" considering they have been together somewhere around 60 years.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, there could also be plenty of drawbacks. Your "opposite" could have different morals or different values that you disagree with. Or possibly your "opposite" may have an outlook on certain topics that you may find downright annoying. Both of these things are obvious problems if a person intends on having a relationship. Either way it's all about finding the right mixture of opposite and alike.
If every couple were to agree with each other about everything, I think it would get quite boring. It's nice to hear people's opinions and what they think. That person could show you a new perspective, or reveal tiny details you've never seen before but you love.
ReplyDeleteYet, if you disagree too much, it might result in arguments. There's got to be some sort of common ground to get the relationship started and to keep it rolling. It's okay to like completely opposite things, but if there's no similarities, it's doomed from the start.
I agree that if they always agreed with each other it would get boring and they could miss out on a lot because they were never shown anything from a different perspective.
DeleteSomeone might be attracted to someone with a different personality because having someone that is the exact same as you would be boring if everything was agreed on between the two people. A benefit of different personalities would be that the people could see things from someone else’s point of view and it could help the person be open minded towards other things. While it can have benefits there are also drawbacks. One drawback would be if two people are so opposite that they can’t agree on anything then nothing would get accomplished except fighting. One example of this would be my aunt and uncle. My uncle is very laid back and is okay with most things but my aunt likes things certain ways and their relationship works well.
ReplyDeleteI agree with how you said it could help one person be more open minded towards other things, because that is very true! I also agree with your drawback, on how you said if two people couldn't agree on things, it could result to them fighting.
DeleteI like your example. my mom and dad have the same type of relationship.
DeleteI think that people who are opposite attract because the other person is different from them. What I mean by that, is that they are more fascinated in each other, because their lives aren't similar to theirs. They have more to talk about, more to experience with each other, and its sometimes better then having someone who is very similar to yourself. I think that if you and your other are into the same things, the relationship would be boring, doing the same things all the time, and talking about the same things, rather then having someone different then you are. A drawback might be that you and your other have different opinions on topics, because you are different from each other, which might cause arguing. Another benefit would be that you could learn more from the other person, which could be a good thing. Say someone in the relationship was always negative about life and the other person was very positive, it could make the negative person more positive because they spent time with someone different from themselves. I know two people who have a relationship where one person is laid back and the other person is always worried about things. This could be a good thing because the person who is more laid back could wear off on the person who is always worried about things. It could also be a drawback because they might not get along that well because they might not agree on certain topics, and might not enjoy doing the same things.
ReplyDeleteI believe opposites attract because they can balance each other out. An example is if someone is organized and someone is less organized they would be able to balance each other out, where as if you were both organized it could be too much if one person liked something this way and the other liked it a different way. Another reason opposites attract is because different people have different opinions. When people have different opinions you would be able to try new things and see the world through someone else point of view. A drawback to having difference of opinions would be that if you didn't want to change your opinion you could possibly argue more. If they had similar personalities though it could be more of a competition then a relationship.
ReplyDeleteAn example is when someone is organized and quiet and then the other person is messy and outgoing you would be able to have different opinions and be willing to try new things and see the world in a different way.
I agree with you about your example because they could balance each other out! I also agree with about how you said about seeing the world through someone else's point of view, because that could be a good thing.
DeleteThat's a nice example. I really like when you said that opposites balance each other out and that different people have different opinions.
DeleteA person may be attracted to someone who is different in any aspect because it is not what he/she is used to. It keeps things from getting boring since both people are not exactly the same. If they were exactly the same they would know what the other would say or do next and they would never be introduced to anything new.
ReplyDeleteFor example if a shy person is in a relationship with someone that is outgoing, they may come out of their shell and do something they might not have normally done.
I agree with your post completely. Especially with them not getting bored because it is what they are used too.
DeleteI think opposites attract because its out of their comfort zone. Some people like to do different things or try new ideas. Also I think people who are too similar tend to argue and disagree more than couples who are complete opposites. Some people like to be with someone completely opposite because it can make them feel more like themselves. An example would be a person who like to be near and organized, while the other might not be like that. So the organized person would make the place neat and clean rather than how it would be if they weren't there.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that people get curious and like to try new and different things. But I didn't think about the idea that people who are very similar in a relationship argue more than people in a relationship who are opposite. Good example, too.
DeleteI believe that someone would like another person opposite of them because it allows them to discover another person's identity that is different from their own. An advantage of an opposite relationship would be that both people get to find out about the other because they are so different. A disadvantage would be that they have little or nothing in common.
ReplyDeleteI know of a relationship where one person is very athletic and one is not so athletic, one is a high honors student and the other is an average student, and one is on the nicer side and the other is pretty rude at times.